The real, real close contact with Africa

Ok, because sex sells, then in this chapter I will write how we got into close quarters with locals in Kenya, what we learned and felt. Mostly about my own things, but in some cases I also know a little what others from our group thought about it. Well, I'm taking it all together as shortly as possible, as there is really a lot to write on that matter.
From the start it was clear that in this half a year a lot will happen and that some of us will also probably have some pretty personal level connections with locals. Ok you know me, usually there is not much that I will leave personal. Like I already wrote in one of my first entries about Kenya, I even kind of set myself a goal to try out a Kenyan girl. Truth to be said, at my primary and highschool times, I always dreamed that in future I would get myself a black woman. Now I simply found this dream in me again. I really fancy black girls and now I also see some things in Estonian girls that I don't like at all.

Mating habits of Kenyan bound humans.But, surely all is not so black and white. First we had to discover how are these things in Kenya. Cultures are really different and christianity may also set some limits there. We may have to learn new strategies and ways how to behave. Even though I already had kissed Kate, things didn't evolve as I hoped. Already two months had passed, when one night we were in a pub, Sarah, Carlos and I. We started talking about how are social and sexual commons and understandings in both places - Kenya and EU. Cultural exchange. Although she isn't the voice of her entire people, we got to know some things... for starters at least. Later through practical exploring, we found out some more things. But yeah, at first it seemed that Kenyans are pretty conservative and back in time in some things. When we told Sarah about all the things that are quite common in Europe, even if just as sexual adventures... things like threesomes, girl on girl action, fuckbuddies, then Sarah was really baffled. She affirmed that most such things are taboos in Kenya. Later from some other people we learned that for homosexualism you may even get killed there. At the same time in Kenya polygamy is still legal and although most families are nowdays nuclear like in Europe and most of the Kenyan women would be damn angry if they would find out that their man is too liberal and even the number of children in families is finally decreasing. But actually it is widely known secret that many people in Kenya have secret lovers... even women. Kenya is the land of secrets. As Christians or Moslems they also expect marriage, but luckily at least we found out that this doesn't mean that you can't have sex before marriage. I explained to Sarah, that in Europe there is widely accepted philosophy - no marriage before sex - then also Sarah said that that she understands. But when we told that many Europeans even when they find their true love, are not sure if they want or if it even has reason for marriage, then that Kenyans wouldn't understand. Marriage is simply so strongly rooted that when in Europe or America guy in urban music sings: "I want to get jiggy with you", then in Kenya they sing "You are the one, I want to marry you"... something along these lines.
For Carlos and me seemed extremely funny how Sarah described how in Kenya two people who like each other get together. When in Europe it happens mostly by one kissing other... just pretty impulsively by following our instincts, then in Kenya everything seems like business with agreements and scouting etc. Sarah said that when someone is interested of other in Kenya, then they first ask his or her friends about various things and much happens with first asking things and pre-organizing. We laughed with Carlos, that it is kind of like you would have a list where you cross down things - So she likes me, ok... would you be interested of going out, ok, that one down... could I kiss you, down finally... would you like to have a commited relationship, ok score... and so on. It seemed so official and cold, that it seems like writing a notarial document - one copy for me and one for you and one for both's parents.
But actually, as I already said, things are not so black and white. There is lots of different people. For example, bigger the city, the more modern are also the people and how they are interacting. Same thing is with the wealth. Richer people, and therefore usually also more educated people have more modern understandings. There are of course special cases, but generally you can follow these rules to expect how some people are acting and interacting. Yet, it is not very common to do some things publically. Like kissing for example. Some people who see you kissing on the street, may just say yo to get a room. Or when we kissed with Kwamboka at the matatu station in Nakuru, then people cheered us like in American comedy serials. At the same time, when alone or among friends, they act pretty much like we in Europe. Also when having sex, there is not much differences. Ok, again, it is surely so that more modern people have more modern sex, and village girl probably has lots of taboos and traditional ways of doing things.
What I didn't understand even in the end is holding hands and touching people regarded, as in most cases it is taken just as signs of friendship. Even men may hold hands without anyone even thinking about the possibility that they could be gays. It is so ordinary that people have contacts in everyday life. Hugs are as normal part of greeting and saying good by as shaking hands or touching the shoulder or back of someone. Yet, sometimes it seemed that when you hold someone's hand, they do view it as a sign of affection. Maybe it is when single man and single woman about the same age are often seen so. But I can't be sure of it. Anyway, when in Kenya some rumors spread, then believe, you don't have any personal life anymore. But in this case I think Europeans have advantage of not caring much.

Anyway, I also wanted to write final evaluation of my things with my black sweethearts. For statistics I can say that when I was in Kenya, I now consider two girls as my girlfriends, and two girls as kind of stalkers. Finally I fell in love with another one and when I came back we got to know about eachothers feelings. So I can say that she is my third Kenyan girlfriend. I don't know how things will go, but I really hope to get back to Kenya and I really hope that our relationship will survive. Oh, and actually I had few more whom I really liked, but circumstances simply didn't let me to hope for anything. But statistics time is over.
Already in Kenya I started asking myself what I like about Kenyan girls or more specifically my girls? Or what caused the ends of the first things? What I have learned in Kenya and how are my behaviour models changed? Similarily to how I saw my living style and personality to fit very well into the Kenyan culture (maybe not from the viewpoint of Kenyans, but for me it was place to feel comfortably), when in Estonia I always felt out of place, same way it seemed that at least some Kenyan girls are exactly what I'm expecting from women. Although, it also means more problems, the way how Kenyans feel... I simply like it. In comparison, weirdly most Estonians seem conservative about how they fear to live out their feelings and dreams. Or maybe Estonians just have different feelings and dreams... certainly so. Even though Kenyan girl may sometimes show their affection in a weird way for us, at least they do that. Ok, also here we have some girls with hotter temperament and more courage, I have almost always found that then she has something else that I don't like or they already are in relationship. Some girls are too simple, some too difficult natured, many I don't like because of outlook, and here we have so many smoking gyals, some expect things from men that even don't fit with my principles, most can't enjoy small natural things of life, but are poisoning their life with lots of artificial pleasures, some girls curse, some just are not sure enough to have a proper relationship, some are too decked and arrogant, thinking that they are some higher league, some seem from the start as you would be better living in a pile of dynamite, some.. uhh, there is dozens of reasons for not wanting them. But in short time I found many girls who were close enough to my liking in Kenya. Although I came to believe that there wouldn't be future for me and my Kisii girl, I would even include her to this bunch. Second thing is that in Estonia I have really tough competition and therefore best girls just don't want me, then in Kenya, I can get easily pretty much any girl who is still free and maybe even some who aren't. I'm absolutely desired there. In Estonia over same long period (half a year) I can see maybe few looks from what I can read "interested", and then they usually don't make any moves (yeah, yeah, I know... girls want guys to make a move... but I want also girl to show some reason for me to want her). And also, actually I too found more feelings in myself and lived these out more... and I like that. In Estonia, where people are more passive and don't dare to do many things, it also seems weird for me to be such a guy whom I want to be. One day I saw a latino carneval dancers and their music band in Tallinn and I just felt that I would like to dance, but how could I, when others there refuse even when they are invited to join. It is a fucking daytime supermarket entertainment. Estonia is weird place with lots of fear as our cultural thing. We are cold, not showing out our feelings and actually inside suffering because of that. Or maybe I'm unique among my people, as lately I have started to sing wherever I want, to make some dancemoves, just jump with joy or whatever, as I don't care... I want to live like this... emotionally.

Kate and I (first four months of Kenya)

Even after all that happened with Kate, after suffering the sadness because of that story, I still like options in Kenya beter than here. Hell, I would even try again with Kate if I could, rather than have an Estonian girl. Moreover, with other girls things were much better. I still don't know what happened with Kate, but from our local friends and later from my other Kenyan girls I got to know that all Kate said about traditions and politeness was just a putoff. Even my too young stalker was more initiative and giving (I always had to impede and forbid her) than Kate. And my Kisii girl was often so venturous and liberal that in times I alredy felt a bit uncomfortable (but actually I started to like that) and started to doubt if I am a proper match for her after all. Sometimes I still regret my eventual decicion to leave her.
And still I don't say anything about my current girl. Abwatin inye (I miss you in Kalenjin). I leave her into mystery. I think right now only few of my friends deserve to know about her. I don't know, maybe I will write about her only after I have returned to Kenya. Wish me luck for that.

Kwamboka and I (remaining two months)

Anyway, I'm thankful for all the experiences... even for these with Kate. I have got a lot of new understandings about myself and girls. I found out what I desire. I found out much more... many things really universal.

Lets do it like they do on Discovery channel!Parental advisory - you may want to explain your kids about decent use of such words or reasons why some are not very good at all. Some Swahili vocabulary:
He/she is pretty - huyu ni mrembo
Would you like to do something (tomorrow)? - Unataka kupanga pamoja (kwa kesho)?
Will you go out with me?/Would you be my darling? - Utakuwa mpenzi wangu?
Would you like a drink? - Unywe kinywaji?
You are a fantastic dancer - Wewe ni mchezadensi mzuri sana
Can I accompany you to your home? - Nikusindikize kwako?
Can I take you to my place? - Twende kwangu?
I like you very much - nakupenda sana
Do you want to come inside for a while? - Unataka kuingia ndani kidogo?
I think we are good together - Nafikiri tunafaa pamoja
Can I kiss you? - Nikubusu?
Kiss me - Nibusu
I want you - Nakutaka
I want a pussy - Niaje na mikingo
Lets go to bed - Twende kitandani
I won't do it without protection - Sitafanya bila kinga
I like that - Napenda hiyo

Easy Lion! - Tulia simba!
That was like a dream - Ilikuwa kama ndoto
See you later - Tutaonana baadaye
I'll keep in touch - Nitakuwasiliana
I'll miss you - Nitakukosa
Are you seeing someone else? - Umekuwa unatembea na mwengine?
He/she is just a friend - Yeye ni rafiki tu
We'll work it out - Itafanikiwa
I don't think it's working out - Sidhani inafaa
I don't want to see you ever again - Sitaki kukuona tena daima
Prostitute - Malaya
You are a bitch - Wewe ni jahili
Pussy - Mikingo/Kuma
Penis - Mboro
Bollocks - Makende
Asshole - Mukundu
Fuck - Tomba
Suck - Nyonya

Eldoret-Pokot-Turkana

Locals taking photos of us, white guys playing football.

Here comes one more long entry. I have delayed writing this for a while now. I must say that it is still somewhat hard for me to write it. It was in Turkana when I finally understood that what ever I wouldn’t try, it is all over between Kate and me. We had long prepared for this trip, as it was supposed to be our big rise, after lots of failures and sitting idle. It was supposed to become the greatest project we do in Kenya, although we didn’t know much about Turkana areas and therefore our plans were really only hopeful. Now as we can look back to it, I think it was great change and even if we were very idealistic on this project, it changed lots of things. Next project in Nangili School was finally everything we had hoped. And actually, even in Turkana we had our successes. Additionally we started a project that we gave on to locals to continue. But yes, as I already said also preparing for Pokot and Turkana, was full of uncertainty. Not only because we didn’t know how to relate with the people there or anything else we simply didn’t know. It was possible that weather or problems with money would scrap all our plans. Basically to the end we weren’t sure of who if any of our local colleagues would join us. Additionally state of the things was so between me and Catherine, that I weren’t sure if it would be good or bad if she would come. In a last week I had tried to fix our things and I hoped that if she comes, then maybe away from regular life in Eldoret we can be together and start anew. Then again, if she comes and nothing is changed, then it may ruin my travel and maybe even have effect on others. Oh well, although it went like I feared, I still value this travel and this experience a lot. Although in the end I cried, I took pleasure of even this sadness and anger. It gave me feeling that at least I did what I had to do. One thing though what I didn’t enjoy and still hate, is that I don’t understand why… what changed between Kate and me. It just doesn’t give me peace. Anyway, final crew was all of our guys, Kristi, from locals Dickson, Sarah, Kate and Kate’s friend Sharon and few church officials who travelled with us the first part to the Marich, Pokot and have organized us rooms in the local church guesthouse. Before the travel I was actually also afraid because of this, as I didn’t know how to act in the church territory or how would church people took a bunch of atheists, agnostics and pagans.

Pokot - People of the mountains

West Pokot is land dominated by high and steep hills and even proper mountains. It is pretty much my dreamland - really beautiful area offering possibilities for adventures and exploration. If you like to hike and climb, and find interesting places and people like I do, then this is exactly the right place to go. But also it is the beginning of such part of Kenya that isn’t in great interest of the state. Church does something in their power to hold that place together and lately also police have got their control there on things, as just a little time ago Pokot people were known to have greatest number of weapons in the civilian hands (if you don’t count Maasais with their spears), raiding travellers or nearby Turkanas. Area lacks any infrastructure and people are extremely poor and largely tribal kind of primitive. Well, you don’t have to pay for anything else than for your own survival there - just move there and build yourself a hut, no one cares. But even that is hard, as there is nothing to do for job and also ground is getting dry and sandy, not good for growing anything. For any official business you have to travel to Kitale, but road that connects these places and runs mostly on the sides of mountains by long valley gorge, is in terrible condition. Further away you get from Kitale, the harder it will be to ride anything but offroad car. Much of the road is simply washed away by the floodwaters that come down the mountains in rain season. In one place even bridge was destroyed and car has to go through the river in a valley floor. In a rain season this place is absolutely impassable. Of course country doesn’t care about repairing it, even though it is only road to Sudan unless you want to make a big round through Uganda. Pokot and Turkana are simply so insignificant. Only way to travel there is either in the back of the truck that most of the locals use, or a bus that goes to Lodwar, biggest and actually only town in Turkana region. But you never can be sure on the bus either. Sometimes it is late for three or six hours, sometimes doesn’t come at all for a day or week or who knows for how long. Marich is really small settlement built of random wooden boards, plywood and sheet metal. I’m already going to repeat myself, but land is really dry and most of the vegetation is normal for half-desert. Anyway, with so simple housing and people, village without electricity or water system, for a computer gamer like me, it seemed absolutely like some place in Fallout games… the old, good 2D ones. If I remember correctly, then there were only three places that had electricity. One was church; one was small kiosk that had its own genny that had to run maize grinder, and I don’t remember what was the third. It was amazing place and amazingly strong people who survived all the ordeals life throw at them. By the way, they really trusted strangers like us. I think if Estonians would be so back in time, depending on any and every small thing that may go wrong, we would be distrustful of any new face. Actually many Estonians are even now. This is how it seems from the ground level and among the people, but when you go to mountains, then still all seems green and like a dreamland.

And to the mountains we decided to climb. Already in first day we set our steps to the high hill nearby (about 800 meters from the ground). This day of course we didn’t conquer it. Time was too late and we were really tired. This time we got only to 1/3 of the hill. But view was already so amazing. I always say that it is like from fantasy book or movie and seeing it with your own eye, makes reading Tolkien or even viewing documentaries of such places to seem so pointless. Actually, even when we climbed, Love and I joked and played little theatrical roles of hobbits on their journey. We finished first day climb on a little top of the foothill, where we met half naked old woman who was heading to her hut with some branches for burning wood. It would have been like moment from centuries back when first Europeans met these tribals there just by coincidence walking on each other in a bush, but then this old woman asked in a mixture of Swahili and Pokot if we would give her 500 shillings. This is really a lot. Street kids in Eldoret would be happy already for 5 or 10 shillings... or even 1 or 2. So we argued a lot in a mix of little Swahili we knew and some English that she probably didn’t understand any word. After some time she lowered her demand to two hundred. Forgetaboutit! There was a river between the hill we came from and our guesthouse. At the daytime there were lots of half naked women in this river sifting the sands to search their luck – gold. And yes, when you swim in it, you get your skin covered with fine gold dust. But we were interested, is there really some pieces big enough to sell? We were said that from time to time some lucky ones actually find some. Golden river passing through one of the poorest places I have ever seen. But yes, chances are that you just waste your life in vain searching the gold, and even when they find a piece, then in local market they don’t get much money. Luckily no one have bothered to start mining these mountains, it would be the end of this true marvel of Kenya. I am selfish, but even though tourism would bring much money to this region and would show some to tourists that Africa is not only national parks, honestly I’m happy that this place is so remote. There is always two sides of every thing – two things involved.

On the search of gold. Photographer didn't dare to shoot the half naked ones who were in majority.

Anyway, when going back, we saw that in the evening naked boys have become the rulers of the river, taking a swim in it. Also we decided to cross the river not by the bridge, but straight through, but this river with the rapids where it exits the mountain gorge turned out to be deeper than we believed, or well, truth to be said it was idea from the start to “accidentally” get wet. These local boys guided us through the safest places. Although river was deep and we got wet anyway, you wouldn’t want to go down the rapid anywhere. In certain places it was fun though to let flow to carry you down the small falls. Another fun that you can not have in any river was to make jumps to the water head on. There was one place, where it got deep so suddenly that when you walk until water is to your knees, and then take one more step and you are in to the waist, and next step is just a hole. You can jump even from the rocks nearby; bottom of the river seemed just not to exist at that place.

That is how we make jumps to the river. Kids don't try it at home!

Next day, Saturday: In the morning we told the “Two islands story” (one thing from our project about gender equality) and then we went to swim. Although Kate and Sharon didn’t swim, they came with us. I asked from Kate if we could walk around in the evening. She even kind of agreed, but later it seemed she had another plan. I have been able to be alone with her enough to have couple of really innocent touches, but couldn’t talk with her about us, as there are people everywhere. Tomorrow she may go back to Eldoret, but I hope not… I really want to settle our things and where would be better place or time than on this travel. Even these church guys said today, that I should take Kate as my woman. They don’t know that I’m after her, but I said that I have chosen myself a Kenyan woman and that I have hard time because of the cultural differences.

-Excerpt from my travel journal, 29. May 2010.

If you are regular follower of my blog, then you may already know how this continued… I mean how on a third day, these church guys tried to recommend me one another fine young woman and my answer to them (written in the chapter about Luhyas). Anyway, sometimes it seemed that things with Kate are getting better, but just moments after, she again acted weirdly. It seemed that sometimes she would be back the Kate whom I started to know in the beginning – so free, caring and wanting me, but next moment she was avoiding me and acted totally differently again… as she would wage war with herself. Yet I hoped. I even tried to get help from Dickson, as he and Kate have been neighbours all their life. But actually this is already a story for another entry. I like these church guys. They are really cool, friendly and open-minded. And when I discount all the religious part, then they are like any good activists doing important job. Earlier I even questioned, why would church like to increase gender equality at all. But they have minds in right places and do things where government and local authorities are idle and where they simply see problems. In general, I have found that when most of the church going population are fanatical and pretty much dogmatic about things, then actual church officials are intelligent and open minded and almost every way how all good Christians should be (at least in my understanding). We have even talked about religion and that of my beliefs, or even on such themes that mostly are taboos in Kenyan Christian communities or about what they have dead certainty. Third day in Marich - this day we were supposed to head forward to the Turkana lands, but we had lots of time. As it was Sunday, locals were gathering to church and last evening all of us were also invited. But Love, Justas and I woke up early, little bit before sunrise. We had other plans. We had great will to finally conquer the Kanatol hill. Without any breakfast, only few sweet candies (this gives really good boost of energy) in pockets and our bags all filled with water bottles we head out. It was still dark, misty and cold, but we already knew how hot it gets before we even get to our last marker, and from our last hike to Kaptebei hill near Kipkaren, we also knew how much we need water and what happens if it gets out in the middle of the hike. If people were woken up already, then at least we didn’t see any. When sun rose from the other side of the great flat Rift Valley (as Marich is actually located exactly where mountains end and give way to this great wonder of nature), we were already quite high on the hill, offering us one of many amazing views of that climb. Other great view was at the same time to the exact opposite side, to the long zig-zaging mountain gorge through what a morning mist clouds slowly rolled their way down the river. At such moments would you be religious or not, would you be Christian, Pagan or what ever, you come to think that church is certainly unable to oppose what feelings you get on mountains. I’m sure of that. By the way, nearby there towers a Kou mountain that was personated as spirit or god by Pokot people around there just a little time ago. Maybe even these days some more primitive Pokot hold to old beliefs. Kou mountain is magnificent and looking a little like the famous mountain in Rio de Janeiro where is this big stone Christ. It would be extremely wicked place to make true cliff climbing.

The three guys who finally conquered the Kanatol Hill - from left: Justinas Kilpys, Love Wojnakowski and me viewing the wonders of nature.

After our 1/3 marker started actually a long gentle slope, and you know this is hardest part of the rise, that has to be taken with right technique and pace. You always have to think for ahead and hold your spirit up. Walk so that you always feel you have some power reserves. Stop before you are too tired. If needed, take few steps and then stand at least for few seconds. Then, the last 1/3 was the steepest part ending with true cliffs. Steep rise needs careful and sure movements and if you are too tired from the gentle slopes, then take how ever much time to rest before going forward. There you have to be sure about every foothold and handhold. If you are not sure of something, then don’t do that. Where possible, don’t grab grass or branches of bushes – if it breaks, you are gone. In Africa, you also have to check any suspicious places for snakes. Even small hills may be hard for the mind when climbing, but when you are up, there is no better feeling. The entire world belongs to you. Well… almost, as we had reached the top, we found out that there was someone’s hut almost on top. We started wondering if these people of the mountains are so adapted that they may walk down and up again every day. Ok, most of the people live in the valley, but probably these that live up there would say that valley people are not true Pokot. We were said that Pokot used to live so because their warlike nature. There were basically two ways to live. To herd the cattle on the plain by looking over it from some tree on the hill… with your rifle… and when anyone strays into middle of your flock, then bullet to the head, or other option was to raid the nearby peoples like Luhya, other Kalenjin peoples and especially Turkana yourself and escape to mountains to hide. Pokot were said to be extremely good sharpshooters, and usually shoot first and ask later. Some even said that because of targeting, one of their eyes was supposed to be little bit more closed than other. I don’t know, I didn’t notice, but I don’t have very good eye on such things either. It was such a view up there, which is even hard to describe. Mt Mtilo to the north or northwest was under the hat of clouds (by the way, both Mt Kou and Mt Mtilo are way higher than 1 km from valley floor… and elevation there is anyway around two km-s I think, or even higher), but its foothills and other smaller hills in front of it came together as petiole… or damn, I really don’t know how to describe it. Row of hills after another, each next one higher and longer than last. We stayed on top of the hill’s rocky top for half an hour, watching around, thinking in silence, drinking water and eating candies. We also called to Kristi that she would take a camera and big lens from Carlos to see if she can take a photo of us in top of the hill, but when we got down to others again, we found out that Kristi took photos of another hill – what a disappointment.

Church in front and an old God, Mt. Kou in background

When we got down from the hill, I felt extreme tiredness. It felt that soon I just drop from my feet, but as always I could find some extra power. This time our climbing was exactly to the plan – by time usage and water we took along. Maybe big bow to honour the mountain, Love and I did before climbing, helped us too. When we got back, we of course had a late breakfast and shower, but then I was only one of wazungu, who joined Kenyans in the Sunday sermon. It was mostly because I wanted to see how it is in such small and separated village. It was much nicer there than in the church we visited in Eldoret. They singed and danced and played the drums passionately as I hoped I could see in the church in Africa. Yet I didn’t took part of any dance or singing. I was too tired. And despite that and despite that I said to local pastors last day that I’m not Christian, I was well accepted there. Kristi left us and went back to Eldoret along with these church guys, and we went to road to get to the bus to Lodwar. Kate and Sharon finally still decided to complete the journey with us.

Turkana – The people of the sand

As we may have guessed, bus to Lodwar was hours late. We just lied down by the road like locals, waiting. Bus came when it was already dark. Bus ride was quite uncomfortable. Some of us had to stand, but actually in back of the bus it was better than to sit, as road to Lodwar was hell of a bumpy and bus really speeds, and when you sit it all goes through your stomach, or you could hit your knees to the metal parts of the front seat. At least when you stand your legs work as shocks. When already in Pokot land was sandy, then soon we rode through real desert with only some peaky bushes, cactuses and few acacias here and there. Basically it was rain season, but it seemed that these parts haven’t seen much rainfall this year. On our rides in Turkana region we rode through many dried out riverbeds. It is quite weird to see such kind of Kenya after all this time living in the middle of lush nature, fertile farmlands and mighty populated areas. Emptiness and sand hurling winds reigning vast areas. Actually hot air and scorching sun in desert didn’t seem so terrible as the hot humidity at coast, but when you step with bare feet to the sand then you discover how hot it really is. For us it was totally impossible to walk barefooted – sand just burned and I guess you could even make a fried egg on it.

Ejoka, welcome to Turkana (Ejoka means hello, greetings in Turkana language). Ride to Lodwar was long and as we got to the bus as late as around eight, we arrived four o’clock at night. But we had someone to meet us there and help us to find guesthouse. We slept in very simple Moslem guesthouse, as it was very cheap.

First boy is surely Sudanese. On this picture you can also see proof that Turkanas have face as they would be always angry.

In the morning we had time to explore. Lodwar is like a small oasis in the middle of all this desert. Quite big and fairly green town for such a place. There are lots of Sudanese Moslems and of course Turkanas, some very traditional, but at the same time I wouldn't agree that Turkanas are one of the most primitive peoples in Africa, that I read somewhere already before going to Kenya. Women wear lots of neck rings and real traditional Turkana women’s hair is only three or four red braids over otherwise shaved head. If I remember correctly, then even Turkana men were somewhat adorned. Everyone is wearing a stick and it was said that most of the men have secret round shaped blade. Also you can see some guys walking around with a AK-47. Turkanas are not as trusting and social as Pokot or even Sudanese and most of them have faces, as they would be angry all the time. But at the same time Moslems have simply restrictions by their religion... so, no photographing in the Moslem part of the town. But otherwise Moslems were very nice. We even got some Somali music from one Moslem restaurant owner after we had looked in vain for something like that in music selling kiosks.

At this day there was a children’s singing and dancing contest in one local school - Mostly choral songs, but also traditional songs with dances. Additionally to the local choirs, there were also some from Luhya and Kalenjin areas and maybe even from Luos. It was very nice, but even better in this morning was that Kate seemed to act really normally this morning. She let me close to her and I really thought that this vacation is working for us. Also Sharon certainly knew about Kate and me at this point and she seemed to support me.

In the evening we rode to small place called Kalekol or Kolokol near the Lake Turkana. It is unbelievable that Lodwar and Kalekol are connected with good paved road. It is still the desert all around the lake and people largely surviving thanks to fishing, camel herding or trade. We stayed in the house of local pastor. It was two-floored house, without electricity and water we had to buy in big canisters from nearby water trader. But it was really more than fine for us. Big house with many proper rooms and beds only for us, as pastor actually didn’t live there (house only belonged to him), and yet all us guys, decided to sleep on a flat roof, under the best ceiling in the world – night sky with millions of stars shining above. Actually, suddenly in the middle of the night, I think around four or five o’clock, a strong cold wind rises, because of what Dickson escaped inside. He of course had to wake all others just to say that it is fucking cold and he goes down. We Europeans survived well enough, even though wind truly was really strong and cold. At all, it seems that Europeans are better adjusting to different conditions, as Kate and Sharon all the time had headaches because of heat, and they also didn’t like the sand flying around.

Probably starting to build a new hut, or maybe just a firewood.

Today is Love’s bathday... khmm, I mean birthday. For that Kenyans organized a little washing for him with the bowlful of water. In evening we will prepare food ourselves and some drinks. At least I don’t have to eat in any hotel food here anymore. I didn’t like the taste of it much. Ok, chapatis were quite good, but coat meat in Kalekol... no thanks.

-Excerpt from my travel journal, 1. June 2010.

Second day in Kalekol was for me hard. Best part was playing football with local team. Kalekol Rangers was actually best team we have met so far, but as they are located in Turkana, they don’t have much chance to become anything more than that. We also did our activities about gender equality, but as in last days things got worse and worse for me, it wasn’t very easy to take part of these. I even didn’t have mood to celebrate Love’s birthday much.

And yeah, so it finally happened – the break-up day. On a morning of third day Kate gave her final resolute answer that we are not a couple anymore. This day I cried and cried, and I didn’t care what others think. I was so heartbroken, and I just didn’t understand it. I didn’t feel good when we went to swim in the lake. In a way it was even harder, as when I saw how much Kate enjoyed it, it hurt me terribly. I also was struck by the last view of her beauty from what I can’t get part anymore. That perfect body, how can I forget it?

Turkana Lake gangsta.

Luckily after that swim we had to ride back to Lodwar and after few hours with the bust back to home. Because of my mood even desert seemed more lifeless than it ever was. In Lodwar I bought some beer and ordered Dickson to buy miraa (Miraa are some straws that when you chew them... a lot of them, then you get some weaker effect similar to amphetamine. You can’t sleep for some time and you tend to talk little bit more or then vice versa get really enclosed into your own world, and when its effect wears off, you also get same but weaker feelings as when with amph. Miraa is legal in Kenya.). I wanted to loose that terrible sadness. This time we had seats in the front of the bus. I reserved seat next to me for Dickson, but after a while he changed it with Abdullahi, a Somali descended bus conductor. He was really nice guy. He gave me one earphone to listen Somali music from his phone and finally he trusted me his phone altogether... even when he left the bus when we stopped in some places. He also showed me some video clips in his phone, including some porn, that considering circumstances was refreshing. And Abdullahi was at that time more talkative, and quite interesting to talk with. He also offered me Tambo, some sort of lip tobacco that is mixed with spices and gives a really good kick, and bought me a soda. Maybe he saw or heard from someone of us, about my sad day. Anyway, all this was exactly what I needed on this final bus ride. When we got back to Pokot highlands and finally to Eldoret, then I understood how much hotter was Turkana. It felt so damn cold there suddenly, and because of sudden climate change I also got little bit sick for next days. About my things with girls in Kenya, maybe I will write a specific entry, but right now I will say that few days after I just understood that only thing that relieves my bad feeling is when I get another girl. So we started going to clubs with Carlos, and that is how I met my Kisii girl.For conclusion, Pokot and Turkana trip was still great adventure and surely also important experience. When we talk what I guess people expect from Africa, what they believe it to be... at least most of the people, then this is exactly what you will find in Turkana, where usual tourists doesn’t go. Tribals, colourful houses in a row in towns, really primitive huts scattered around the towns in a barren arid lands, lots of sand, acacia trees, straw tuffs, coats, camels, Moslems, people who don’t worry about anything much, motorcycle drivers doing almost proper sand rally, lots of meat for food and of course chapatis, these sticks that tribals use as toothbrush, amazing sunsets and moonlighted nights, lots of stars, etc. Only thing missing from the picture was a drum music and tribal dance. I really loved Pokot and Turkana, but still I was happy to get back to Eldoret. It is great to travel to Pokot to climb, and sometimes just travel around anywhere, but Eldoret is home.

My blog, my rules!

Please don't post any advertisements or simply unrelated comments. Simply saying that my post is good, doesn't justify the advertising links. There is no need to ask me if I have copyreader or copywriter. All my writings are only written and edited by me. I believe that I'm good enough to write good text and I have also studied advertisment design to promote myself as I see fit. So, this blog is and will remain uncommercialized independent publication. This is not democracy here, it is Juwarra's dictate how things are. If I want to advertise something, then it is for really good reason and principle and certainly not for money or popularity of me or anyone else.
I forgot to moderate comments for few years, and now I found lots of irrelevant comments. But I will look into that more from now on, that all these will be deleted. Yesterday I deleted nearly hundred comments that clearly had nothing to do with my blog. Today there is two hundred more comments in japanese. So, I'm quite pissed off right now. If this doesn't cease, then I may need to make limits to who can comment. This would mean that many real readers under the anonymous flag would suffer. I wouldn't want that, but.. I will tolerate cruel critics towards me, I may even tolerate incontinent swearing, but one thing that I don't tolerate is that some people are blind to the two rules I have wrote in red to the sidebar of my blog.

Juwarra, art and Africa

Life, art and peace - this was written on a T-shirt of one guy in airplain from Nairobi to London

When I first came to visit my university after return to Estonia, one of my drawing teachers asked if my art will get some African patterns to it now. She asked it because my bachelor degree graduation thesis was on theme of Estonian artists who have visited exotic cultures, asking if and how it changed them. Under exotic cultures I basically considered anything different from Euro-American culture. And although you can say that globalization has taken its toll and that even life and cultures in Africa has lost a lot when compared with our general dreams about exotics. But then again, there is still a lot of originality. This part of the world, if not dancing after its own drum, is still dancing differently than we here. We find a lot that colonialism and globalism has pushed into their culture and living style, but it is still not the same world as this here. It still is exotica.
Anyway yeah, so I asked in my thesis how such travels affect the art of our artists. What ideas and values artist (artist as mostly person open for such new things) may find in that way. So, my teacher wanted to know how I see it now about myself. I said to her that we’ll wait and see. Actually I never talked anything about patterns, although yes, you can understand word patterns in many ways and basically might find patterns everywhere – not only on local garments, but also in nature, as in living rhythm, etc. Two things I can say. First is that now I would probably write much better thesis and second, that my art certainly is/will be different. Maybe even not so much in form and style, but much more in ideology and essence. It has to be, as I feel that I’m different after such mighty experiences.
Yes, I have plans for new art. I have more certain thoughts about what I seek with my art than ever before. And as I plan also to portray something that I have found to be Africa or at least Kenya, I imply that I got something from Kenya that is different from what I felt and knew before.

Generally my art is characterized by love of details, from time to time you may say even that there is so much details that it is hard to grasp it as a one piece. Also, usually it is self-evident and definitive (showing that I clearly don’t carry the ideologies of post modernists). Shapes are concrete, but often distorted from realistic view or simplified – it haven’t been my goal to achieve realism, and then sometimes in contrary I make things weird. I really like to play with colours and shapes. If colours are present, then these are vivid and mostly painted in that way that brushstrokes couldn’t be seen. I have held art noveau, art deco, surrealism (especially pop surrealism) and even sometimes naivism as my ideals. So my intent was to do something clear by colours and shapes but complexed by details or lot of content. My art has also become more and more conceptual. Well, I will never do something that we know as pure conceptual art, but still, idea and even text have great role in my art. This all together has likened my art with decorative artistic posters or comics art. So has also been said to me by others, and I even like this idea. But still, I have never tried to become pure styled decorative painter or wanted to make just comics drawings. I like to mix styles and try new things. I like the medium of paintings, but I also like when it carries the simplicity and joy of comics art. I like big ideas, but don’t want to get my audience too serious.
Yet, lately I have felt that I should make my art, especially paintings, maybe even sculptures more serious. Also it is possible that I will do little bit more realistic things in near future, but again, I won’t go into classical realism. More likely I’m heading for realistic romantism or pop art.

But still, how living in Africa had an effect on what I’m trying to do in art now? Actually I would say that I just got more courage and now more than ever I feel that for doing good art, I need freedom – freedom from everything that people expect from me. Also, I have found even more cause to paint very colourful and vivid pictures and at the same time use text even more as a main part of artwork. I think conditions in Estonia are not good for my creativity. Life and even surroundings are so uniform here. Too much thinking about everything. And too few sensations and movement. Even abundance of flowers just made my mind go wild in Kenya. This world there is crazy and that is exactly what I need for my art. For now I have some inspiration and ideas that I took with me from Kenya, but basically I feel that I simply need to return there. It is just so amazing, what you feel there every day. Africa is the world of feelings, and when you feel a lot, then you never have problem finding will to do something, neither have you problem finding themes for painting, writing, singing, whatever else, if you always do something.
One thing that I must say, is that in Kenya, there is not much to talk about art. Yes, Kenya has probably had greatest artists that have gained fame in Africa, but their art is not very diverse. Moreover, you can not find much on streets and among simple people. Yes, they make some handycraft, most of what is meant to be sold to tourists. But you can’t find that people would decorate their home with something ownmade. You can’t find houses that have such art on the walls as I saw from the photos of my friend who visited Nigeria. Basically I can say that there is no folk art in Kenya. Maybe you can find something noteworthy somewhere, but even then it is highly possible, that it has not been created with even nearly that kind of intent as you would hope. Generally people don’t know anything about art. Children in school are raised in such way that doesn’t support creativity. So, life in kenya is very good for expressivnes and creativity, but they are already from the childhood raised so that they simply don’t have it in them to start doing some art. But then again, when some locals see what you can make, what is possible, something really artistic, then they are so interested and exalted. Even in my stay I met one guy who really wanted to learn about art from me. It would be really great to help people there to become more creative and more self expressing through art in their every day life.