Love and ideology

Sorry that I haven't posted here for a while. I have been busy with many things. Thinking through my plans of going for Eurotrip, finishing things for exhibitions, creating my portfolio blog and just having some social time.

But today I wanted to write something. At least the poem I wrote last night for my sweetie. Anyway, some time ago I wrote her a message that we finally have more sunlight in a day, but she is my true sunshine through all the good and bad times. Few days ago she sent me quite a similar message where she said that she is watching the stars, that she loves all stars in the sky, but these are nothing compared to the ones in my eyes. I know... quite cliché, but it is still sweet and it created some kind of story in my mind. So this is it:

Sun and other stars

Spacecold land of night,

a spaceboy is alone.

He longs his sunshine girl

and sunshine land, his home.

And sunbrown girl looks

to the stars above,

to the stars with pale light.

They love, they miss

eachothers eyes,

they wish for a kiss.

And wish they aren't

like day and night.

In the end they must get together,

right?!

Few days ago it was birthday of my friend. It was weird. He had like two kinds of guests. Some couples mainly from Tallinn or at least not from Aruküla... he himself included (acting pretty much like already married couples), and then there were guys from Aruküla - all alone. But it was weird this time for me especially because now basically I am in commited relationship, I have someone... but then again, I don't in the sense that she aren't there with me. And although I am now taking this relationship seriously, I defended the idea of free men, when my friend's girl (who by the way is very young... I think she was 25 like my friend... but already has two kids... not with my friend... and still my friend is like a dad to these little girls) said that when guy gets 30 then basically he is late with all the relationship things. I even defended the idea of guys who change girls like their shirt... one day, one girl. I'm still convinced free lover proponent and believe that marriage has lost almost all reason in modern world. Yet, in my soul I wish I could already be back in Kenya, hold my loved girl, build a steady life with her and think about marriage and having a child.

Heh, that all now reminded me one thing. Today Katarina told that there were selfhelp books and other such literature very common in Nigeria. I said that in Kenya there was a book called "How to beat your wife". And then we talked how I and Jürgen-Kristofer, both artists, both mostly pacifists, interested of spiritualism and eastern philosophies and also as somehow our theme also went to Indigos, then Katarina also said that Indigos like us, of course wouldn't understand such ideology. Of course not, we wouldn't want to hit anyone and if it would be possible we even wouldn't want to step on insects. Katarina kind of ironically said that maybe sometimes also wife needs beating. "What would you do when wife won't obey you?" Jürgen answered that he wouldn't beat her and for few minuts didn't know what he would do, but finally said that he would just leave. And then it was my turn. My answer was: "I would love my wife more." Jürgen then changed his thought to the same.

Ok... I guess that's enough for today. It was fun and busy day.. a good day, (maybe because we walked the street down from Harju hill... by one guy this was supposed to be the "happy road"). Tomorrow maybe I'll write some things I said to them today about my beliefs and why I so well accepted when I was called Rastaman in Kenya. I finally cleared it for myself and found good enough words to verbalise it.

Aight.... have fun ya'll... make love, but remember, do it safe.

An old piece

fight for life

fight for dreams

fight for light

fight to see

do not kill

fight by other means

fight for free will

fight for me

fight for survival

fight for salvation

death and denial

greed and betrayal

fight for sunshine

fight to love

gather your strength

and choose the righteous war

fight for the music

fight for truth

fight not to lose it

fight for youth

fight for humanity

fight for naturality

change slavery to liberty

fight is only way to immortality

rasta against greenweed's illegality

religion versus materiality

everyone has own delight

everyone has own fight

28 times more i say

fight

fight for your...

Poetry of love

Üle pika aja jälle minult üks luuletus ja seekord isegi eesti keeles. Viimasel ajal teen ma palju koolitöid, arvestades, et kool nagu läbi. Seekord siis Shakespeare'lik sonett. Austus sellele suurele meistrile.. elagu sinu vaim igavesti.

Homme igatsen sind jälle

Miks on nii, et neis mõteteis ei saa ma und?

Liiga pikk on aeg, milleks üldse see?

Öö möödub, üks tund, jälle üks tund.

Kelle avastus on kurblik meel?

Kelle õiguseks on anda tundeid,

kellel lüüa puruks neid?

Piinavad tõed, vaid unistused julged.

Kas on täiuslikkust, igal inimesel vaid üks ainus õige leid?

Ei saa ju olla, et armastuses on pattu, valet.

Mis on ses kurja, kui raske mõelda muust?

Kuuvalguses ma näen vaid sinu palet,

unistan sinu müstiliselt kutsuvast suust.

Oh öötuul, vii mu mõtted nüüd talle

ja lase mul uinuda, tulgu siis homme igatsus uus.

Poetry for life

Now the last poetry thing that i have done in past.. and i don't know if i do any more, but well, i guess when i fall into deep abyss of really bad mood again, i may write also poetry. This one is about cruel games of life and death, and danger of taking any of these too easily.

Grim Reapers Girl

Young man did the suicide,
leaving his bride crying.
Now she walks lonely path
Between living and dying.

Next month, girl walked in a park
She met a new guy, who said:
“lost love thou must forget”
Soon girl fell in love again,

Not knowing that loved one is the Death

Dreaming Life

I think, this is most surreal thing i've ever written.. but yo, it ain't absurd.. it has a story, it has the message. So, even if it's not very much needed knowledge, it is in my my soul to doubt about things like this and argue about basis of life and being. This writing has the parallels with my favourite movie "Waking Life", through having the dreamlike feeling that you are not sure what's this all about - life. It is wishful thinking.. beliefs of best possible reality creates ultimate joy, but there's danger that it may turn out to be only a dream. Waking up is voice that sais.. yo man, you lost. But at least in some universe or just in my head, this dream can last. In every morning you wake up, yet every new night you can see dream again.. and in some way dreams do last forever, because when you remember it, you believe it,.. you live it. Well, but maybe life is dream and dream is life. Then how to understand which one you live and do you want to wake up. Or if everything is dream, wouldn't it then mean it is all also a life. Anyways, what is almost sure, is that also dream is reality.. you know you have it. Dream really happens, although you are at sleep then. Difference is, when you are awake, you have full control of things,.. even when it seems not so. Also happenings in life are linear and depending of the last and next one. But when life is in dream, control you have is illusional. It changes constantly, even past. But you don't understand that because with changes in life, also your memories, beliefs and personality will be according to new reality. If you don't understand what i'm talking about, i'd advice you to watch another movie too.. "Dark City".. this talks how changes may happen so that people in the middle of these don't even understand they live consantly a brand new life. Living awake or dreaming. And yes, in this reality they have no control, everything happens because of the outside power. which way is more valuable or more comfortable or more real is up to you. Yo.. it's time for another poetry lookalike thingie.

Waking Life

Some day i will wake up

and think that i have never ever

actually thought before

everything will last forever

weather forecast makes me bored

in infinity i fare with you together

run with joy through the storm

with slow pace or maybe never i ought to grow up

like every other mushroom.

Littlebit, rain takes down my lovefever

it's another ordinary afternoon

it's bit cold, makes you shiver

i wonder is it because the chilly air, me or daytime moon

can something at all be better

in sacred serenity

you know everything is cool

i may be just a dreamer

who yet has to wake up and feel as a fool

Poetry makes me wonder.. WTF!

Straight to hell.. heterod lähevad põrgusse - hea seegi, et vähemalt pärast surma saan aega veeta soojal maal kus kedagi miski ei huvita :p

Sometimes it seems like everything that is gone past was best. But imagine a day when that kind of changes take only minuts.. that cheese popcorn we ate was definately better than one with bacon flavour, and as you may imagine, the taste gets even worse when it cools down, and soccer game is getting and getting more boring.. not to mention that now i just got headache.. and hell, beer is out. Well.. when i feel bad or sometimes when my artistic strength is in low, i tend to write somekind of poetry. This one what i write here now is actually done in past.. but anyways, i just feel that i throw that shit out now. Ok, i don't know much about poetry.. and therefore actually saying if it's any good or most amateur thing you ever read, is up to you guys and gyals.

One man army

The world under fancy shining shell,
hits my eye, i should tell,
corruption fills the souls of shadows,
eyes are cold, when lost is battle.
Last wisemans stand
on road to hell,
catching silent whispers
of broken bell.
They wonder,
hoping to find the reason
why no-one rise against
the silent season.

Then one sais:
“Without anything i now end there,
this is my no more point,
lost cause in my head”.
A moment and he fades.
Rattle of meaningless death,
caused by the mighty despair,
eventually fills also my head.
Only one now remains,
he is alone and scared,
in emptiness, he still guards,
something, somewhere.

Ok, tomorrow i let my positivity come back again.. Tschüs