Life on the road

I dedicate this chapter to Carina.. Carina whose blog link I have on my sidebar under the golden awards, a girl who has almost travelled around the world by hitchhiking and surviving who knows how, a girl whose will has got her living her dream, and always got her forward. I hope some day I also get so far. Well, my road these days was short, but still..

Many desire immortality, but don't know what to do in rainy sunday afternoon.

-Susan Ertz-

I visited Tartu last weekend. Do you understand, last weekend?! And I'm writing about it now, week later. Of course I went by hitchhiking. It seems that at the time when I have been away, Estonians have got a bit less friendly and in some cases even arrogant. Ok, fact that I had to use four cars (seven if also my dad, oncle and Kudrun's boyfriend would be counted in.. but four on Tallinn-Tartu highway) to get to Tartu doesn't show anything, but that it took altogether six hours, often waiting a next car to pick me up about an hour, I think this already shows something. Plus I saw some middle fingers - this has never before happened to me on Estonian roads. Luckily it was nice day and life on the road was even quite enjoyable, but when I got to Tartu, I was already pretty tired.

First of course I went to visit Kudrun, Martin and Kaspar. I had my own made cake with me, half of what came with me also to the next place. Anyway, we ate cake and then I played a little bit music there and then Martin asked me to come to play at Maailmamustrid party in december. I would like to go. It would be my first public performance and basically then I could also finally say that I'm professional DJ. Martin himself went few days later in some DJ business or something to Greece and from there after ten days to Tunesia. Damn, I'm so jealous. Kudrun said that we send him and Martin then asked where,.. and then I said: "To Tunesia". Oh, I only wish that I could. From Tunesia it would be only few thousands of km-s to Kenya.. through desert of course, but who cares.

Anyway, first night I had to go to Mariann's place, as Gerli had exactly gone to Tallinn. But first I met some Mariann's friends and her boyfriend, and when everyone had some drinks for warmup, then we went to the punk-party birthday of some girl whom no one knew. Or maybe Erik, but I'm not sure. After some time people started to move ahead and we also went to some tidy and decent new place, where I and Mariann took one more beer. Erik who at the punk party drinked vodka with sparkling wine was tired and went home before us. We didn't expect to fear anything, but when we also got there, we got a bad surprise. Erik had forgot to leave doors unlocked. We made lots of noise and angered naighbours, but Erik was wasted and slept like dead. Finally one naighbour at least let us to staircase, otherwise we would have freezed. So there we had to spend our night. Although tiredness was kicking, it was impossible to sleep. It still was cold and damn uncomfortable. But hey, even worse things could happen. I certainly weren't as much disturbed as Mariann.

Day after this night was almost lost. When we finally woke up around four, we just sat, looked at eachother, waiting until hangover or what ever that weird feeling was, passes. And Mariann had got fever. At least it started to rain. I wouldn't be very happy about rain usually, but it is much better to be idle in the house and feel bad when it rains. Later I went to visit Helen. I already felt better and probably wine also helped. Anyway it was nice to talk with her. Actually it even felt best time in Tartu. In Kenya we argued a lot with her and often I felt that we are so different. But now it was even hard to leave. Ok, actually as Helen said, from Estonians we probably were also closest in Kenya.

But this late evening Gerli came back from Tallinn and so I went to meet her. We hadn't seen eachother over year already. But little bit I still felt weird with her. Not so much as before though. It is her peculiar silent nature, her too deep talks and I guess also our past, that makes me feel uncomfortable. And still, although at least one night I could have stayed at Kudrun's place, I stayed both at Gerli's. No we didn't sleep together. These times are past. And in some way I guess even this makes me feel weird.

I visited Helen and Kudrun once more. With Helen we came to talk about relations we left to Kenya. Of course my thoughts went to Kate and although I promised not to shed a tear, I must say I weren't far from breaking. I think she saw it too. I didn't believe that I still have her so deep in my mind. I see I still pity myself for losing her.

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Overall four still pretty good days in Tartu. I even got ride straight back to Tallinn with nice and smart man with whom it was interesting to talk. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that, this whole trip made me feel better.