The real, real close contact with Africa

Ok, because sex sells, then in this chapter I will write how we got into close quarters with locals in Kenya, what we learned and felt. Mostly about my own things, but in some cases I also know a little what others from our group thought about it. Well, I'm taking it all together as shortly as possible, as there is really a lot to write on that matter.
From the start it was clear that in this half a year a lot will happen and that some of us will also probably have some pretty personal level connections with locals. Ok you know me, usually there is not much that I will leave personal. Like I already wrote in one of my first entries about Kenya, I even kind of set myself a goal to try out a Kenyan girl. Truth to be said, at my primary and highschool times, I always dreamed that in future I would get myself a black woman. Now I simply found this dream in me again. I really fancy black girls and now I also see some things in Estonian girls that I don't like at all.

Mating habits of Kenyan bound humans.But, surely all is not so black and white. First we had to discover how are these things in Kenya. Cultures are really different and christianity may also set some limits there. We may have to learn new strategies and ways how to behave. Even though I already had kissed Kate, things didn't evolve as I hoped. Already two months had passed, when one night we were in a pub, Sarah, Carlos and I. We started talking about how are social and sexual commons and understandings in both places - Kenya and EU. Cultural exchange. Although she isn't the voice of her entire people, we got to know some things... for starters at least. Later through practical exploring, we found out some more things. But yeah, at first it seemed that Kenyans are pretty conservative and back in time in some things. When we told Sarah about all the things that are quite common in Europe, even if just as sexual adventures... things like threesomes, girl on girl action, fuckbuddies, then Sarah was really baffled. She affirmed that most such things are taboos in Kenya. Later from some other people we learned that for homosexualism you may even get killed there. At the same time in Kenya polygamy is still legal and although most families are nowdays nuclear like in Europe and most of the Kenyan women would be damn angry if they would find out that their man is too liberal and even the number of children in families is finally decreasing. But actually it is widely known secret that many people in Kenya have secret lovers... even women. Kenya is the land of secrets. As Christians or Moslems they also expect marriage, but luckily at least we found out that this doesn't mean that you can't have sex before marriage. I explained to Sarah, that in Europe there is widely accepted philosophy - no marriage before sex - then also Sarah said that that she understands. But when we told that many Europeans even when they find their true love, are not sure if they want or if it even has reason for marriage, then that Kenyans wouldn't understand. Marriage is simply so strongly rooted that when in Europe or America guy in urban music sings: "I want to get jiggy with you", then in Kenya they sing "You are the one, I want to marry you"... something along these lines.
For Carlos and me seemed extremely funny how Sarah described how in Kenya two people who like each other get together. When in Europe it happens mostly by one kissing other... just pretty impulsively by following our instincts, then in Kenya everything seems like business with agreements and scouting etc. Sarah said that when someone is interested of other in Kenya, then they first ask his or her friends about various things and much happens with first asking things and pre-organizing. We laughed with Carlos, that it is kind of like you would have a list where you cross down things - So she likes me, ok... would you be interested of going out, ok, that one down... could I kiss you, down finally... would you like to have a commited relationship, ok score... and so on. It seemed so official and cold, that it seems like writing a notarial document - one copy for me and one for you and one for both's parents.
But actually, as I already said, things are not so black and white. There is lots of different people. For example, bigger the city, the more modern are also the people and how they are interacting. Same thing is with the wealth. Richer people, and therefore usually also more educated people have more modern understandings. There are of course special cases, but generally you can follow these rules to expect how some people are acting and interacting. Yet, it is not very common to do some things publically. Like kissing for example. Some people who see you kissing on the street, may just say yo to get a room. Or when we kissed with Kwamboka at the matatu station in Nakuru, then people cheered us like in American comedy serials. At the same time, when alone or among friends, they act pretty much like we in Europe. Also when having sex, there is not much differences. Ok, again, it is surely so that more modern people have more modern sex, and village girl probably has lots of taboos and traditional ways of doing things.
What I didn't understand even in the end is holding hands and touching people regarded, as in most cases it is taken just as signs of friendship. Even men may hold hands without anyone even thinking about the possibility that they could be gays. It is so ordinary that people have contacts in everyday life. Hugs are as normal part of greeting and saying good by as shaking hands or touching the shoulder or back of someone. Yet, sometimes it seemed that when you hold someone's hand, they do view it as a sign of affection. Maybe it is when single man and single woman about the same age are often seen so. But I can't be sure of it. Anyway, when in Kenya some rumors spread, then believe, you don't have any personal life anymore. But in this case I think Europeans have advantage of not caring much.

Anyway, I also wanted to write final evaluation of my things with my black sweethearts. For statistics I can say that when I was in Kenya, I now consider two girls as my girlfriends, and two girls as kind of stalkers. Finally I fell in love with another one and when I came back we got to know about eachothers feelings. So I can say that she is my third Kenyan girlfriend. I don't know how things will go, but I really hope to get back to Kenya and I really hope that our relationship will survive. Oh, and actually I had few more whom I really liked, but circumstances simply didn't let me to hope for anything. But statistics time is over.
Already in Kenya I started asking myself what I like about Kenyan girls or more specifically my girls? Or what caused the ends of the first things? What I have learned in Kenya and how are my behaviour models changed? Similarily to how I saw my living style and personality to fit very well into the Kenyan culture (maybe not from the viewpoint of Kenyans, but for me it was place to feel comfortably), when in Estonia I always felt out of place, same way it seemed that at least some Kenyan girls are exactly what I'm expecting from women. Although, it also means more problems, the way how Kenyans feel... I simply like it. In comparison, weirdly most Estonians seem conservative about how they fear to live out their feelings and dreams. Or maybe Estonians just have different feelings and dreams... certainly so. Even though Kenyan girl may sometimes show their affection in a weird way for us, at least they do that. Ok, also here we have some girls with hotter temperament and more courage, I have almost always found that then she has something else that I don't like or they already are in relationship. Some girls are too simple, some too difficult natured, many I don't like because of outlook, and here we have so many smoking gyals, some expect things from men that even don't fit with my principles, most can't enjoy small natural things of life, but are poisoning their life with lots of artificial pleasures, some girls curse, some just are not sure enough to have a proper relationship, some are too decked and arrogant, thinking that they are some higher league, some seem from the start as you would be better living in a pile of dynamite, some.. uhh, there is dozens of reasons for not wanting them. But in short time I found many girls who were close enough to my liking in Kenya. Although I came to believe that there wouldn't be future for me and my Kisii girl, I would even include her to this bunch. Second thing is that in Estonia I have really tough competition and therefore best girls just don't want me, then in Kenya, I can get easily pretty much any girl who is still free and maybe even some who aren't. I'm absolutely desired there. In Estonia over same long period (half a year) I can see maybe few looks from what I can read "interested", and then they usually don't make any moves (yeah, yeah, I know... girls want guys to make a move... but I want also girl to show some reason for me to want her). And also, actually I too found more feelings in myself and lived these out more... and I like that. In Estonia, where people are more passive and don't dare to do many things, it also seems weird for me to be such a guy whom I want to be. One day I saw a latino carneval dancers and their music band in Tallinn and I just felt that I would like to dance, but how could I, when others there refuse even when they are invited to join. It is a fucking daytime supermarket entertainment. Estonia is weird place with lots of fear as our cultural thing. We are cold, not showing out our feelings and actually inside suffering because of that. Or maybe I'm unique among my people, as lately I have started to sing wherever I want, to make some dancemoves, just jump with joy or whatever, as I don't care... I want to live like this... emotionally.

Kate and I (first four months of Kenya)

Even after all that happened with Kate, after suffering the sadness because of that story, I still like options in Kenya beter than here. Hell, I would even try again with Kate if I could, rather than have an Estonian girl. Moreover, with other girls things were much better. I still don't know what happened with Kate, but from our local friends and later from my other Kenyan girls I got to know that all Kate said about traditions and politeness was just a putoff. Even my too young stalker was more initiative and giving (I always had to impede and forbid her) than Kate. And my Kisii girl was often so venturous and liberal that in times I alredy felt a bit uncomfortable (but actually I started to like that) and started to doubt if I am a proper match for her after all. Sometimes I still regret my eventual decicion to leave her.
And still I don't say anything about my current girl. Abwatin inye (I miss you in Kalenjin). I leave her into mystery. I think right now only few of my friends deserve to know about her. I don't know, maybe I will write about her only after I have returned to Kenya. Wish me luck for that.

Kwamboka and I (remaining two months)

Anyway, I'm thankful for all the experiences... even for these with Kate. I have got a lot of new understandings about myself and girls. I found out what I desire. I found out much more... many things really universal.

Lets do it like they do on Discovery channel!Parental advisory - you may want to explain your kids about decent use of such words or reasons why some are not very good at all. Some Swahili vocabulary:
He/she is pretty - huyu ni mrembo
Would you like to do something (tomorrow)? - Unataka kupanga pamoja (kwa kesho)?
Will you go out with me?/Would you be my darling? - Utakuwa mpenzi wangu?
Would you like a drink? - Unywe kinywaji?
You are a fantastic dancer - Wewe ni mchezadensi mzuri sana
Can I accompany you to your home? - Nikusindikize kwako?
Can I take you to my place? - Twende kwangu?
I like you very much - nakupenda sana
Do you want to come inside for a while? - Unataka kuingia ndani kidogo?
I think we are good together - Nafikiri tunafaa pamoja
Can I kiss you? - Nikubusu?
Kiss me - Nibusu
I want you - Nakutaka
I want a pussy - Niaje na mikingo
Lets go to bed - Twende kitandani
I won't do it without protection - Sitafanya bila kinga
I like that - Napenda hiyo

Easy Lion! - Tulia simba!
That was like a dream - Ilikuwa kama ndoto
See you later - Tutaonana baadaye
I'll keep in touch - Nitakuwasiliana
I'll miss you - Nitakukosa
Are you seeing someone else? - Umekuwa unatembea na mwengine?
He/she is just a friend - Yeye ni rafiki tu
We'll work it out - Itafanikiwa
I don't think it's working out - Sidhani inafaa
I don't want to see you ever again - Sitaki kukuona tena daima
Prostitute - Malaya
You are a bitch - Wewe ni jahili
Pussy - Mikingo/Kuma
Penis - Mboro
Bollocks - Makende
Asshole - Mukundu
Fuck - Tomba
Suck - Nyonya