http://www.couchsurfing.org/
First I will say thanks to the staff of Coach Surfing, because what you do, makes world a better place. It has also helped me a lot on my travel now. Though, there are things I want to criticize about. First of all, there is lots of people there who have certain expectations from their guests, whereas most of them say that they want to meet different people and/or have open mind. A lot of them want you to send a personalized message to see what kind of person it is they host. Ok, I would understand about security reasons, but actually I haven't heared any stories of any dangerous or any unwanted moments anyone have had. I am pretty sure, that most of them simply select someone with whom they feel some emotional security. But if you want to meet different people, you actually shouldn't select and understand that everyone is not the same as you. Open mind is not when you wish your guests to do some wrestling, like was expected by few guys who answered me in Venice area. Open mind is when you can accept people as they are. I can say without making any secret that my open mindedness is in some cases limited, because I have some certain principles that I want to hold true to. Anyway, if you understand that there are also different ways of travelling, then some people can't plan much forward, and must send lots of requests only few days before arriving their target. That means it is impossible to write personalized message. I make my further travel plans usually just two-three days before. Idea to go to Rome came impulsively. Until now, few days before leaving France, I still hadn't chosen what road I will take after Barcelona... south, north or straight for Madrid. Sometimes hitchhiking goes really badly and I wouldn't get to my host in the expected time. But this is my kind of travelling. Hitchhiking is mission for me.. I really want to make a point with that... send some messages (about that I will write later). Also I understand when host to whom I don't get in right time, can't host me later, but I simply can't write a personalized message about why I chose this person. Actually I don't choose... I let fate choose for me, and then I will see what I can do with that person or what to learn from him/her. If you really want to select, then please, I always send my blog adress in request, so if you want to learn why I maybe could be interested of meeting you, then I think my blog gives enough answers - I am really interested of DIFFERENT people. I don't need to meet someone who is copy of me or my friend or who likes to do same things as me, or even have same principles. I don't mind living few days after some rules I find weird, or even have some easy dispute of things. Don't fear that I would impose my will or beliefs on you. I have feeling of decency and tolerance. Also, reason to send lots of copy-past requests is because as a guy, I don't get answers to every one of my requests, and especially in touristic areas, lots of requests get declined, because they already have someone on the coach. You see, to get one or two positive or even maybe answers, I just have to send dozens of requests. Anyway, if sending copy-paste requests would be something unnormal by the principles of CS, there wouldn't be templates. I understand the request that traveller would read through the profile of their possible host though. I even do it usually just for my own interest. Also for coach requesters absolutely first most important thing to do is to fill their profile, and when you do that, give possibility to really see your person behind it.
First I will say thanks to the staff of Coach Surfing, because what you do, makes world a better place. It has also helped me a lot on my travel now. Though, there are things I want to criticize about. First of all, there is lots of people there who have certain expectations from their guests, whereas most of them say that they want to meet different people and/or have open mind. A lot of them want you to send a personalized message to see what kind of person it is they host. Ok, I would understand about security reasons, but actually I haven't heared any stories of any dangerous or any unwanted moments anyone have had. I am pretty sure, that most of them simply select someone with whom they feel some emotional security. But if you want to meet different people, you actually shouldn't select and understand that everyone is not the same as you. Open mind is not when you wish your guests to do some wrestling, like was expected by few guys who answered me in Venice area. Open mind is when you can accept people as they are. I can say without making any secret that my open mindedness is in some cases limited, because I have some certain principles that I want to hold true to. Anyway, if you understand that there are also different ways of travelling, then some people can't plan much forward, and must send lots of requests only few days before arriving their target. That means it is impossible to write personalized message. I make my further travel plans usually just two-three days before. Idea to go to Rome came impulsively. Until now, few days before leaving France, I still hadn't chosen what road I will take after Barcelona... south, north or straight for Madrid. Sometimes hitchhiking goes really badly and I wouldn't get to my host in the expected time. But this is my kind of travelling. Hitchhiking is mission for me.. I really want to make a point with that... send some messages (about that I will write later). Also I understand when host to whom I don't get in right time, can't host me later, but I simply can't write a personalized message about why I chose this person. Actually I don't choose... I let fate choose for me, and then I will see what I can do with that person or what to learn from him/her. If you really want to select, then please, I always send my blog adress in request, so if you want to learn why I maybe could be interested of meeting you, then I think my blog gives enough answers - I am really interested of DIFFERENT people. I don't need to meet someone who is copy of me or my friend or who likes to do same things as me, or even have same principles. I don't mind living few days after some rules I find weird, or even have some easy dispute of things. Don't fear that I would impose my will or beliefs on you. I have feeling of decency and tolerance. Also, reason to send lots of copy-past requests is because as a guy, I don't get answers to every one of my requests, and especially in touristic areas, lots of requests get declined, because they already have someone on the coach. You see, to get one or two positive or even maybe answers, I just have to send dozens of requests. Anyway, if sending copy-paste requests would be something unnormal by the principles of CS, there wouldn't be templates. I understand the request that traveller would read through the profile of their possible host though. I even do it usually just for my own interest. Also for coach requesters absolutely first most important thing to do is to fill their profile, and when you do that, give possibility to really see your person behind it.
Ah yes, I also disagree with the idea of some coach surfers, who say that most important thing about CS is the connection and mutual interest between host and surfer... to meet the people (and usually they even say interesting people to them). No, CS was created so that travellers can mutually help each other, making it easier to travel for all of us. Sure, this doesn't mean exploiting the host by traveller. But anyway, this site should forever, ever retain its prime reason. If you are wise enough, then you see it even written in the name of the site. Meeting nice and interesting people, to have a connection, and/or having some other gain of interest, is secondary... although usually it happens anyway. For example, I have had really different people I meet through the CS and in one or other way I really enjoy meeting them. I always learn something new. Even if I find that I don't fit with some of them at all in a personal level. Like I said, some go even so far, that they write what they expect from their guest. Ok, if it is explanation that guest must leave early with host, or don't contact me if you are allergic or vegetarian or something, but some say for example something like I am partygoing and like to meet some people like me. It is in some way very similar to say that I don't host Jews. Can't you really be together with some conservative, who is fairly tolerant to select your company, or some quite silent bohemian dude, who likes to say something more intelligent than you say yourself. A lot of guys also write that they host only girls... some also explaining that they have had bad experiences with guys. What the hell, how can you have bad experiences hosting all the guys?! It is so transparent that you are just trying to get some girl. I would even understand if girl specifies that she prefers to host women... just for privacy or security reasons, but right now using the option to specify the preference is mostly used by men. Moreover, they just don't prefer, their only certain choice is that they host only women. It is said when you are signing up for CS, that it is not dating or social site, per se! If you are really open minded, then you even don't care about possibility to have somekind of bad experience over some time. You always look something also from these. Well, I wouldn't say that I have had a bad experience, but something not best either. I was hosted by this gay guy as I wrote in the last entry, who tried to talk me to have sex with him: "Why you travel like you travel? - To have an adventure, to experience new things and learn... maybe you just haven't done it... you don't know if you like what you would experience without experiencing it." I explained that I don't want to learn that... this is not what I expect from adventure. I already learned from that conversation something. Something about myself and also about him. And although entire evening I was a little tense, as something like this has never happened to me and I felt weard to be under the interest of the gay, additionally I feared to make any unwanted signals, and therefore I felt that I can't be as free and friendly and close as with some other guys. But if this day would be again and I would know how it goes, I would still go to be hosted by him. Not only because it is free place, as actually one guy in Rome showed me also one hostel he said to be free (it seemed weird place.. and I don't know, maybe it was homeless shelter or something like that, but I could have stayed also there freely).
Ok, I said that it seemed especially weird when these guys in Venice area expected me to take part of some wrestling... otherwise they don't host. Usually I like when my host would offer different possibilities, because I as traveller don't know the place and options. But this wrestlemania is pure harassment. They really aren't normal. If someone would accept to host me, and asks what I like to do, introducing that we can go to swimming, or go out to Judo Dojo where he goes to wrestle, then sure... I even maybe would select that option. Also, there should be some understanding between host and guest. I think if host is tired, it is unthinkable, that guest would seek a way to go to party, and vice versa. Sometimes it is understandable, that host can't introduce you the place, but it would be just stupid then to expect that your guest goes out then to leave you in peace and have a good time alone in a strange city. Usually, when my host wants or has to be at home, I also prefer to rest there. Of course I try not to be disturbance then. Mutual respect and understanding is main thing.
2 comments:
Very interesting perspective. I very much agree with the point that couchsurfing is for travelers and this is how it should be taken.
When I lived in Sweden and I had my apartment, I accepted all couchsurfers - many with copy paste messages, others who sent the request only a day before and also one girl who came when I was not there, I just left her the keys and if I arrived few days later, She was one of the most interesting travelers I have met.
I enjoyed offering travelers a couch, even if they just came to sleep and went on next day. Because I have been in a situation of looking for a couch, a ride and so on for so many times, that I do everything to give something back now, when I have the possibility.
For me, couchsurfing is about traveling and meeting people who travel and I host all who I am able to host and accept the ways they want their trip to be. And there's so much to learn from each of them and many of them have been great company!
Exactly... I think those who say that if you just want to sleep somewhere, should go to some hostel, I think they don't really understand why CS was created and what pleasure you can get just helping people. They maybe have never done real backpacker kind of travelling, so they don't understand how thankful a traveller would be just for a bed, shower and simple conversation with totally random person.
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